This has been a topic that has been on my heart for a few weeks now. I think I have gathered my thoughts in such a way that I'm ready to share it with you all.
Winter is an incredibly busy time of the year, especially with Christmas just around the corner. At the same time, the end of the calendar year is approaching, and all of us are trying to tie up loose ends in our personal, financial, and professional lives.
While this season seems to be getting busier and busier as the weeks go on, the days are getting shorter and shorter, darker and darker. The temperature is dropping, and lately, so have my mood and energy levels.
Lately, I have been feeling down on myself for my lack of energy when I have so much to do. I haven't been wanting to go to the gym or out for walks as it is so bitter-cold. I have been wanting to go to bed earlier and earlier each night. My overall energy seems to have plummeted. As a result, I have been drinking more coffee, pushing myself harder to finish everything in time for Christmas, and feeling badly about the way I've been feeling. But after some time of introspection, I have come to the conclusion that this is okay and perhaps even normal.
"The winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was, with the understanding that this is a period of descent and rest, of going within our homes, within ourselves and taking in all that we have been through, all that has passed in this full year which is coming to a close"
- Venice Wyatt
I think with the changes of each season, there are changes within ourselves. At the end of the day, we may be humans, but we are also still animals. With each seasons, animals experience habitual changes and thus, we will too, even if that is more subconsciously. Take a moment to think of each of the 4 seasons and what they represent within nature. When I think of spring I think of rebirth, awakening, and new growth. Summer, I think of activity and sunshine. Fall, I picture preparation for winter, nesting, last harvest. And winter, I picture hibernation. Many mammals do just that - hibernate. Yet, for us humans, winter often pushes us to be very active.
Besides what winter represents for all animals in nature, there is something emotional that happens within all of us at the end of each calendar year, whether we realize it or not. The end of a year marks the end of an era, good or bad. It is a time when we reflect back on what we accomplished, what we didn't, how we grew, our favourite memories, the hurts and the triumphs. This process is energy-taxing, but absolutely necessary for our hearts to bid goodbye to what was and what wasn't 2018.
Perhaps it is okay for us to feel like cozying up inside, eating a bit more, sleeping more, and having less energy. Perhaps this is what winter holds for all animals in nature, including us. Perhaps this slowing down forces us to introspect, say goodbye to the past year, and hello to the new one approaching. Perhaps, we would feel less exhausted if we honoured those desires rather than ignoring them and pushing onward. Perhaps, we could get everything done for the season while still honouring our desires to take time to rest and come inwards. Perhaps, accepting how our bodies feel during each season, while still trying to maintain our physical and mental health is possible.
So for the remainder of the winter, I am going to try to do just that. Still move my body for my mental and physical health - but maybe that means hot yoga or a home workout rather than the gym or a spin class. Still nourish my body with good food - but maybe that means more comfort food. Still get the sleep I need - but maybe going to bed a little earlier isn't the end of the world. Still try to get everything on my to-do list done - but maybe with a little more patience and a little more love for myself.
Love + light,
Antheia.
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